End-of-the-Month Dinner

You know what that is. Don't lie.

It's the end of the month and you're broke. You've got a hungry family waiting on you to fix something mind-blowing (or maybe just edible) for dinner. You walk into your kitchen and are, quite frankly, appalled at the lack of healthy sustenance available. So, you scramble together what ingredients and pieces of meals you can find and hope to god it turns out okay. Sometimes, you get lucky. Sometimes, you find new and amazing ways to combine different foods for a GI-tract pleasing meal. Other times...not so much.

This is how my "end-of-the-month" dinner went two nights ago:

Thanks to my sweet mother, there was a pound of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in the refrigerator. "Awesome," I thought. "I've got some flour, some Crisco, milk and eggs. I can fry it!" Several hours pass, the Hubs gets home from work and it's time to start cooking. When I wander back into the kitchen and seriously think about frying the chicken, my conviction pales. I am going to get flour all over everything. I am going to have more dishes to wash afterward. That's not happening. "Alright, alright. I can just bake it. That's healthier anyway."

Now, to find some sides.

Check the cabinets: more cans of beans than I want to admit, no-boil lasagna noodles, Gerber Graduate snacks for the boy, muffin mix, tea. "Hm. No biggie. I'll just check the freezer."

Freezer: popsicles, waffles, more popsicles, a mostly empty bag of Pillsbury biscuits, half empty bag of frozen corn and a partially empty bag of carrots. "Biscuits always go great with chicken." Turn the oven on to pre-heat for the biscuits. Check.

Once I've assembled the desired seasonings for the chicken from the Hubs (I think I'll start calling him "Flavor Master." That's kinda sexy.), I season the chicken and then go back into the freezer to grab the corn. When I open the bag and look inside, though, I see the corn is over a year old and, even though its been in the freezer and should still be good, it clearly isn't. Slightly disappointed (I really love corn), I toss it and go back for the carrots.

These carrots were so old and so freezer-burned that there was absolutely no way to save them. Ever. Dejected, I toss them, too. A meal just isn't complete without some sort of color, in my opinion, so I open the fridge in desperation.

Applesauce.

"Better than nothing, and at least it's good for you!" I figured.

By this time, the biscuits are done cooking. Apparently, the biscuits weren't good anymore, either, because they were...grey. A rather nasty shade of grey. (No Fifty Shades of Grey looks good on biscuits...trust me.) There were biscuit icicles coming off the sides, too. I didn't take a picture (for some reason) so I can't show you what biscuit icicles really look like, but trust me when I say that they are completely unappetizing. Even the Hubs didn't want to touch the biscuits - and that right there says more than anything else.

But you know what? Despite all of the fail of dinner, that chicken was delicious.

And at least we had applesauce.

And leftover wedding-shower cake (congrats to my sister and her fiancee, by the way).

Mmm. Cake.

-Mommy Michelle

True story.

(In a totally unrelated note, I tried to make my own biscuits from scratch last night...without self-rising flour...or baking soda. Let me tell you what, I thought they would still be alright - just flat. I can handle flat biscuits. I love bread in just about any form. I wasn't banking on biscuits so hard I could knock them against the wall without hurting the biscuit. Just don't do it. Learn from my baking fails.)

When Silence is Scary

Parenthood is full of irony.

For instance, it is ironic how, when you have a newborn who is asleep and awake on their own random schedule, all you want is for them to sleep through the night, yet the first time you wake up and they are still asleep you freak out and immediately think all the worst things possible. SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is a very real and very scary aspect of having an infant. Though a ton of research is being done to figure out what, exactly, causes SIDS, the exact cause is still unknown. (There has been recent evidence that it could be a pre-existing condition in certain babies or an as-yet-undetectable birth defect.) New parents are swamped with information and a huge list of "dos and don'ts" to try and minimize risks: put them to sleep on their backs, don't use cushioned bedding or crib bumpers, don't have extra blankets or stuffed animals in bed with the child, use a pacifier at night, etc. It's overwhelming.

But once you pass that one year mark when the risk of SIDS drops dramatically and THEN your child sleeps through the night...you rejoice. It's very similar to the irony of wishing your child would play by themselves for a moment so you can clean or sit down and have some quiet for a change, only to freak out a few minutes later when you realize there is no sound coming from their room or the area they were just playing in.

I've seen awful pictures of a child who has smeared poo all over their room and themselves. I have heard horror stories of children pulling drawers from dressers onto themselves and being trapped underneath them. (Incidentally, not many people tell you how paranoid a lot of parents become throughout their children's lives. I never thought I would worry about half the things that cross my mind every single day. It's maddening!)

So, when this gem showed up on my Facebook news feed the other day, I knew I had to write about it and share it:

Once again, credit cannot be given because I have no idea who made this originally.

This is so accurate it's almost laughable! What is that toddler doing? Has he gotten into the fridge and is spreading sour cream all over the cat? Is she chowing down on the dog's food? Does he have a sharpie and is he decorating all of his appendages? Has she choked on something in the hallway and you just didn't hear it?

Needless to say, this has happened to me on several occasions. I'll be sitting in the living room reading, on the Internet, or maybe I'm in the kitchen doing dishes or in the bedroom folding laundry when suddenly I notice a distinct lack of noise. I race into my son's bedroom and find a myriad of situations. One time, he was playing quietly by himself with his play-doh. Another time he was hiding out in a pop-up tent and covering his legs with all sorts of markers. The worst instance, he was in the kitchen and had sprayed himself in the face with oven cleaner.

Everything was fine. Didn't even get a scar! :)

There are times, though, when silence is just as sweet as it can be. My husband and I have passed our Nintendo 64 down to our son and Addison's got a pretty sweet set-up on top of his dresser. He absolutely loves to play "Crusin' the World"; he calls it "Race Cars." A lot of times, he'll ask me to turn the game on for him, and he'll sit on his Corvette bed (he's so cool) and play. I will, usually, go about my business while he plays (unless he begs me to sit on the bed with him and watch him race - he's so cute that it's hard to say no - and who would rather wash dishes than watch a child play and laugh? Weirdo's, that's who.) Not that long ago, this very scenario happened. After several minutes had gone by without him yelling out, "check point!", I freaked the freak out and raced into his room to check on him, my paranoid parental mind taking me to dark places no parent ever wants to visit.

Do you know what I found?

This absolutely cuteness.

Life is so rough on toddlers, isn't it?

-Mommy Michelle

Hateful People Shouldn't Have Children

The only thing more annoying than a fussy toddler who has had to sit in one spot and wait for twenty minutes before he/she has had a nap and who is unable to play with his/her favorite toy at that exact moment is a rich, spoiled, west Knoxville mom who has an all-too-important hair appointment she simply can't miss, even if it's for something as enriching for her child as story time with a bunch of other kids at the local library. A story time that lasts for a little less than half an hour.

I can understand having engagements to keep. I wouldn't want to be late to an appointment, either, but don't take your frustrations out on your child, the story teller or the parents around you. None of those people have done anything to cause or exacerbate your situation!

You may have already figured this out, but this is what happened last Tuesday at the library.

This woman comes in and sits next to me and I can already tell she's agitated. Her perfectly manicured nails are tapping on one perfectly tanned arm while her crossed leg is bouncing up and down causing her high-fashion sandal to flop back and forth over her perfectly painted toes. Most parents who arrive early (myself included) will do one of a few things: 1) let the kid go pick out a book and read to them, 2) let their kid go sit in the middle of story area and play with other kids, or 3) give your kid your phone and let them play angry birds. (Probably not the best or most educational choice but holy crap does it work!)

Do you know what isn't so helpful? Making irritated sighing noises, looking at your watch with exaggerated movements every few seconds and complaining in ridiculous stage whispers about how late the story teller is or all of the incredibly important things you need to do. If it comes to that, then go. The rest of us who are there to actually enjoy ourselves and share a super fun and healthy interaction with our children and other people in our community certainly don't want your negativity all up in our space.

Was I irritated that the story teller was twenty minutes late? A little, but I know how important it is to have these fun group activities with toddlers and I would gladly sit and entertain my son for a half hour in order to have the joy of watching him enraptured in a story, answering questions when he's asked and dancing around in a shower of bubbles while he stares with glee at his new sticker.

There is just no reason to be in a crappy mood when you can do something to change your circumstances; and there is certainly no reason to inflict your crappy mood on other people. How ridiculous is that! Misery may love company, but my company certainly doesn't love your misery.

What's even better is that when I, rather nicely I thought, told the woman that if she was so upset and busy she could always leave, she looked at me as if I had grown horns out of my head. Seriously? Is that such an outlandish notion that you have to glare at me like I'm the one who is complaining and whining? Please.

It's such a shame that her child has to be in her company for the majority of his life at present. He was a cute little boy who was only too happy to sit in the floor and play with the other kids there.

That's my boy in the red shirt with the adorable blond curls. He's so cute and attentive.

I do want to congratulate that mom who, like me, suggested that if the story teller didn't show up within the next few minutes we should go and pick out some books and read them to the gathered children ourselves. I'm going to school to be a teacher. I am certainly not intimidated by a gaggle of toddlers staring at me expectantly and, you can ask Addison, I can read stories in funny voices better than most.

That is definitely an awesome mom super power.

-Mommy Michelle

Boobies!

Happy National Breastfeeding Week!

I absolutely love this week! The whole purpose is to celebrate all of those mommas who breastfeed (or support it!) and to raise awareness on just how extremely beneficial breastfeeding is for both the baby AND the momma! Seriously, there are so, so, SO many good things that come from breastfeeding and that knowledge is growing and spreading every single day. Just take a read for yourself: (I looked at a lot of sites and they all agree on all of these points. I've always loved babycenter.com so I chose theirs to share.) How Breastfeeding Benefits You and Your Baby.

When I was pregnant, I heard all about how "breast is best." But if that was true, then why were my obstetricians and doctors giving me packets of information and handfuls of coupons on formula? Sure, there was a lactation consultant that came in and helped me get Addison to latch when we tried to breastfeed for the first time (which can be unbelievably hard!) and there was always someone on call that could come in and help me if I needed it, but it felt like all of these professionals were telling me formula is just as good as breastfeeding. It's not. Did you know that some doctors get paid based on how much formula they can pawn off on mommas? That sounds awful...because it is. Luckily there is a lot being done about this ridiculousness. For starters, the mayor of New York City is laying down some pretty awesome rules for the hospitals. That's just a beginning, but it's a great beginning and I think these types of decisions will spread and impact hospitals all over the place. As pointed out in that article, it's not an issue of taking away choice. Women are still free to formula-feed their baby from day one if they want. It's about education.

Now, there have been extremely awesome strides in making formula as close to breast milk as possible. In fact, there are plenty of good things about formula! I'm not knocking formula-feeders in any way. In fact, I formula-fed Addison for most of his bottle days. That doesn't change the fact that a lot of women out there simply don't know the facts. They don't know the difference or just how beneficial breastfeeding actually is. We are made to feed our babies. That is the true purpose of breasts (despite what your significant others may say). It doesn't matter how big or small they are. It doesn't matter what shape they are or what color they are. Breast IS best.

Here's my personal breastfeeding story:

Addison and I in the hospital the day he was born

I started out all gung-ho about strictly breastfeeding and for about two and a half or three weeks, I did. I just hadn't expected it to be so freakin' hard. I remember, specifically, one night after only being home from the hospital for about a week...I was rocking Addison in the living room around three in the morning, bone tired, desperately trying to get a fussy and hungry newborn to latch...and he just wouldn't. It was breaking my heart that I was sitting here, breasts full of milk just for my son, and I couldn't get him to eat! I felt like a failure as a mother. I sobbed. I sat there holding him, rocking him and apologizing for what felt like hours. No mother wants to feel that way. Ever.

When we continued to have difficulties latching, and I was told I had to supplement formula into my son's diet so he would gain his weight back (which, incidentally, wasn't necessarily true). Once he figured out how much easier it was to drink from a bottle, that was it. He didn't want to latch ever again. I ended up getting a breast pump so he could still have breast milk even if it wasn't straight from me. You want to talk about an extremely awkward and unnatural feeling. I tried, though, and continued to pump for another week and a half or so...until my milk just dried up. I didn't know that there were ways to bring the supply back (ways that aren't even that difficult)! I didn't know that there were plenty of options I had to be able to keep breastfeeding my son. I did not have the support or knowledge I needed to continue to do it. THAT is what this week is all about!

Do I feel guilty for formula-feeding my son for a year of his life? Not at all. He got the nutrients and all the other stuff he needed to grow and be healthy. He is perfect, smart, adorable and all the things I ever wanted him to be. Do I wish I had been able to breastfeed him for longer? Absolutely.

My best friend is still breastfeeding her two-year-old and I think that is so awesome. She is doing the best thing for her little boy, despite all the looks and comments she gets and all the negativity people have towards mommas who breastfeed for longer than a year. Which is ridiculous and a whole different issue...

No, this week is all about being happy and positive and supporting this awesome super power that moms have. If you know a momma who is breastfeeding (or has), go give her a hug and let her know she's awesome. If you know a momma who wanted to or tried to and it didn't work out (whether from physical, mental or environmental circumstances), give her a hug, too, because she deserves it just as much. (Like me!)

You want to show your support publicly? There are lots of ways to do it! You can start by going to Magic-Milk on FB and 'liking' their page because local moms supporting this cause rock. :)

 Here's to all the boobies! :)

-Mommy Michelle