Holidays!

I absolutely love this time of the year. Is that cliche? I don't even care. Three fantastic holidays happen one month after another and it is just so much fun - especially when you have a kid. No joke. There are times (think - trying to go shopping for presents and accidentally walking into the toy aisle) when it is way more difficult to get things done with a toddler in tow, but that ceases to matter when you get to watch your child trick-or-treat for the first time (and actually know what's happening),

Exhibit A: the cutest cowboy you'll ever see.

This is Exhibit B: doesn't really have anything to do with kids, but I had a really awesome costume and just had to make sure you all saw it.

 play in leaves, stuff their faces with food, and - yes - open presents. I know, I know. Christmas isn't about presents. I completely agree! That doesn't mean that it isn't the best feeling in the world to watch your baby rip paper off of something you know they are going to love to play with. It's a beautiful thing.

You know what's the best part about holidays? Family. It doesn't matter what kind of family you have (and believe me - I know all about all the different types of families thanks to my Psychology of Human Development class)...it only matters that you spend time together. I've lost several family members in the past few years, and it never really hits you until the holidays. That moment when you look around and realize who is missing or how you've changed your traditions since their passing. It's sad, but it also makes you want to hold your remaining family a little tighter - enjoy them a little more.

No, we didn't plan the black shirts. Yes, we are absolutely weird.

Me, my mom, and my Booger. We were stuffed full of food.

Some traditions are great no matter who started them or who you continue them with. Ever since I can remember, my parents took my brother and I to the Fantasy of Trees here. It's a big to-do where people have decorated trees and gingerbread houses and donated them to this cause; there are a lot of little areas sectioned off with shops, crafts, areas for kids to play; there's a stage where various shows are put on; snacks a plenty; and a carousel. It is a fantastic and beautiful event. We always, ALWAYS made thumbprint ornaments and miniature trees we could decorate. My parents split and so we started going with one parent or another. The past few years, we've gone with my dad and step mom and company.

This year, though, I went with my mom, my son, my husband, his dad, his dad's girlfriend, and her son. Quite a mix up of the norm! I'm here to tell you: it doesn't matter who you're used to doing these traditions with - as long as you're around those you love, they are great!

We painted our faces like always.

My son got to make his first mini-tree. I was so proud!

Me and the Hubs rode the carousel with the Booger. They always make funny faces.

See? I can't take them anywhere.

Needless to say, we all had a whole lot of fun.

And now that I've updated this blog with the oh-so-important musings of my head, I'm off to watch more Vampire Diaries. What? You don't watch this show? -gasp- Why not?

There's three good reasons right there.

-Mommy Michelle

Go Outside

Catchy title? Nah, I didn't think so either.

BUT IT'S TRUE.

The past few weeks it has been rainy and cold (because apparently Tennessee is too good for Fall - lame) and not really good "play" weather. I've been studying and writing ridiculously long essays for midterms at school. The Hubs has been rushing around doing odd jobs and looking for a better full-time job to support us. I've recently joined this awesome program-type-thing to de-clutter and keep the apartment clean and awesome.

Needless to say, we've been busy, busy bees.

However, that doesn't mean that not taking my son to the park for weeks is okay, because it isn't. We weren't stuck in the house 24/7 by any means, but we were both getting some serious cabin fever.

In the past several days, he got to play in a barn, went to two different parks, and had SO much play time out of the apartment. It has completely changed his behavior. (Well, mostly. He's still a toddler, after all.)

I was shocked. The benefits of playing are not new to me. I've read all about how it aids their physical and mental growth. But to see it in action was kind of mind-blowing.

So, lovely readers of mine (of which there are so few...Ha!) I challenge you, whether you have kids or not, to go outside and play. Do you think you're too old for that? Do you think you have more important things to do? You're not and you probably don't. Stop sitting there making excuses to stay inside like I was. Don't worry about anything. For at least half an hour, go. Take a walk. Go for a jog. Swing on a swing set! Find a peaceful place and just look around.

The leaves around here are changing. Go to the mountains, even if you just drive around Cades Cove, get out and get some fresh air. It doesn't matter how old you are. Everyone can use an uplift in spirit sometimes, especially when winter is approaching and we all know it's about to get really, really cold.

Seriously. Beautiful.

 So, just go.

-Mommy Michelle

What To Do When Everyone Has The Sniffles

Being sick sucks. That's no surprise or revelation.

But do you know what's worse?

A sick toddler.

Do you know what's worse than that?

Being sick at the same time that your toddler is sick.

It.

Is.

Miserable.

Addison isn't quite old enough, yet, to be able to blow his nose properly, so I have to use one of those stupid suction bulbs to clear his nostrils out so he can breathe (and doesn't snot all over himself - and me, by extension).

Seriously? These things suck. If your child is an infant who can't really move or defend himself, fine. Try using one of these on a two-year-old who doesn't want it to happen. It's super fun.

Then you've got to get him to take his medicine, deal with his fussy attitude, and meet his every whim - which changes by the minute considering he's so sickly he doesn't know what he wants. And heaven forbid if you have to chastise him for something he KNOWS he's not supposed to do. Oh, god. It's horrible.

All of this while you feel like you've been run over by a garbage truck, half-drowned in sewage and left out to dry.

So! I've comprised a list of things to help you (and mostly me) get through these horrible, awful times:

1. Take a nap when your kid naps.

Sure, that sounds self-explanatory, but I'm serious. Don't worry about the pile of dishes in the sink, or the laundry that's growing a mind of its own as it climbs out of the dirty hamper. All of that crap will still be there to take care of when you're feeling better. A tired, sick, and distraught mommy is not what your kids need to have. And, Mommas out there who have newborns, you should be doing this anyway!

2. Junk out a little bit.

Eating healthy is awesome and something every family should try to do, but don't beat yourself up over a bowl of ice cream (or two, or three...) when you're feeling blah. It'll help your sore throat and make you feel better. Trust me. Unless you're super against sugar for tots, give your kid some, too. Chocolate does WONDERS for temperament. At least, it works on mine. Ha.

3. Enlist the aid of your S.O. (or family member - whichever)

Unless they're sick, too, in which case, I am terribly sorry. The Hubs has the sniffles right now, too, but he still lends a hand when I need it and sometimes that's all I need. Just a few minutes to yourself to take a bath, to read a chapter in a book, to veg out on facebook, whatever you do, can be priceless when you're sick.

4. Indulge in a guilty pleasure.

Alright, maybe watching "How I Met Your Mother" isn't so much a 'guilty' pleasure since that show is freakin' awesome, but you catch my drift. Do something, read something, watch something, you don't normally let yourself do, read, watch, eat, whatever. Spoiling yourself when you're sick is a-okay, so don't feel guilty about it!

5. Bribe your children.

Does that sound bad? I don't care, and you shouldn't either. Who doesn't like getting fun things to do when they're sick? Trust me. My mom got my son a couple new cars yesterday and he has played with those things for a long time today...and left me to my own devices! He's not neglected, of course, he's just playing. New things will catch toddlers attention (at least for a little while) and let you get some stuff done (or not) while you're down.

These are just a few things to help you get by.

Now go, drink some tea, eat some chocolate, play some video games, watch your soaps, do whatever it is you lovely people do. I'm going to go give my snotty, fussy son a bubble bath.

-Mommy Michelle

You Just Gotta Laugh

In and around Knoxville, today is known as Booms Day, the day around Labor Day when this HUGE fireworks show is put on down by the river. It's amazing, breathtaking and so great!

This is from 2008.

The Hubs actually proposed to me in 2009 during the finale "waterfall." They used to shoot them all off the Henley Street bridge, but since that's being worked on for the next couple years, they've had to move it around.

Kinda hard to shoot fireworks off a not-bridge.

Anyways, our apartment is at a pretty awesome locale. We can walk to a couple different spots and have a clear view of the sky. So, we got our stuff together, got the boy's Radio Flyer wagon out of his closet, and headed up our hilly parking lot...right as it started to rain. No big deal, we figured. We've got an umbrella and it's not raining too hard. Ha! Before we even got out of the apartment complex it started doing something like this:

Then, there we were. My husband being pulled by our dog (who isn't such a big fan of getting wet) and pulling the wagon, me trying to keep pace and keep the umbrella over the boy, and the boy sitting in his wagon talking about going to see the fireworks. Haha!

Needless to say, we decided to opt out. A bit disappointing, but it's certainly not the first fireworks show I've missed and it won't be the last, I'm sure. More than anything, it asserted something I've been figuring out for a while now:

Sometimes, you just gotta laugh.

Things don't always go the way you want them to. Plans fall through, weather changes, and things just don't happen the way you expected. That's life. It happens. You know what makes it worse? Getting mad and upset over it. You know what saves your night/day? Laughing.

Yes, I wanted to see the fireworks. I wanted to watch Addison's face light up as he watched the giant colorful explosions in the sky. And that didn't work out. But I just laughed as I ran through the rain with my family and I'm having a great night at home with my loving husband and my happy son and I couldn't ask for anything more. :)

Sometimes, you just have to laugh.

- Mommy Michelle

End-of-the-Month Dinner

You know what that is. Don't lie.

It's the end of the month and you're broke. You've got a hungry family waiting on you to fix something mind-blowing (or maybe just edible) for dinner. You walk into your kitchen and are, quite frankly, appalled at the lack of healthy sustenance available. So, you scramble together what ingredients and pieces of meals you can find and hope to god it turns out okay. Sometimes, you get lucky. Sometimes, you find new and amazing ways to combine different foods for a GI-tract pleasing meal. Other times...not so much.

This is how my "end-of-the-month" dinner went two nights ago:

Thanks to my sweet mother, there was a pound of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in the refrigerator. "Awesome," I thought. "I've got some flour, some Crisco, milk and eggs. I can fry it!" Several hours pass, the Hubs gets home from work and it's time to start cooking. When I wander back into the kitchen and seriously think about frying the chicken, my conviction pales. I am going to get flour all over everything. I am going to have more dishes to wash afterward. That's not happening. "Alright, alright. I can just bake it. That's healthier anyway."

Now, to find some sides.

Check the cabinets: more cans of beans than I want to admit, no-boil lasagna noodles, Gerber Graduate snacks for the boy, muffin mix, tea. "Hm. No biggie. I'll just check the freezer."

Freezer: popsicles, waffles, more popsicles, a mostly empty bag of Pillsbury biscuits, half empty bag of frozen corn and a partially empty bag of carrots. "Biscuits always go great with chicken." Turn the oven on to pre-heat for the biscuits. Check.

Once I've assembled the desired seasonings for the chicken from the Hubs (I think I'll start calling him "Flavor Master." That's kinda sexy.), I season the chicken and then go back into the freezer to grab the corn. When I open the bag and look inside, though, I see the corn is over a year old and, even though its been in the freezer and should still be good, it clearly isn't. Slightly disappointed (I really love corn), I toss it and go back for the carrots.

These carrots were so old and so freezer-burned that there was absolutely no way to save them. Ever. Dejected, I toss them, too. A meal just isn't complete without some sort of color, in my opinion, so I open the fridge in desperation.

Applesauce.

"Better than nothing, and at least it's good for you!" I figured.

By this time, the biscuits are done cooking. Apparently, the biscuits weren't good anymore, either, because they were...grey. A rather nasty shade of grey. (No Fifty Shades of Grey looks good on biscuits...trust me.) There were biscuit icicles coming off the sides, too. I didn't take a picture (for some reason) so I can't show you what biscuit icicles really look like, but trust me when I say that they are completely unappetizing. Even the Hubs didn't want to touch the biscuits - and that right there says more than anything else.

But you know what? Despite all of the fail of dinner, that chicken was delicious.

And at least we had applesauce.

And leftover wedding-shower cake (congrats to my sister and her fiancee, by the way).

Mmm. Cake.

-Mommy Michelle

True story.

(In a totally unrelated note, I tried to make my own biscuits from scratch last night...without self-rising flour...or baking soda. Let me tell you what, I thought they would still be alright - just flat. I can handle flat biscuits. I love bread in just about any form. I wasn't banking on biscuits so hard I could knock them against the wall without hurting the biscuit. Just don't do it. Learn from my baking fails.)

When Silence is Scary

Parenthood is full of irony.

For instance, it is ironic how, when you have a newborn who is asleep and awake on their own random schedule, all you want is for them to sleep through the night, yet the first time you wake up and they are still asleep you freak out and immediately think all the worst things possible. SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is a very real and very scary aspect of having an infant. Though a ton of research is being done to figure out what, exactly, causes SIDS, the exact cause is still unknown. (There has been recent evidence that it could be a pre-existing condition in certain babies or an as-yet-undetectable birth defect.) New parents are swamped with information and a huge list of "dos and don'ts" to try and minimize risks: put them to sleep on their backs, don't use cushioned bedding or crib bumpers, don't have extra blankets or stuffed animals in bed with the child, use a pacifier at night, etc. It's overwhelming.

But once you pass that one year mark when the risk of SIDS drops dramatically and THEN your child sleeps through the night...you rejoice. It's very similar to the irony of wishing your child would play by themselves for a moment so you can clean or sit down and have some quiet for a change, only to freak out a few minutes later when you realize there is no sound coming from their room or the area they were just playing in.

I've seen awful pictures of a child who has smeared poo all over their room and themselves. I have heard horror stories of children pulling drawers from dressers onto themselves and being trapped underneath them. (Incidentally, not many people tell you how paranoid a lot of parents become throughout their children's lives. I never thought I would worry about half the things that cross my mind every single day. It's maddening!)

So, when this gem showed up on my Facebook news feed the other day, I knew I had to write about it and share it:

Once again, credit cannot be given because I have no idea who made this originally.

This is so accurate it's almost laughable! What is that toddler doing? Has he gotten into the fridge and is spreading sour cream all over the cat? Is she chowing down on the dog's food? Does he have a sharpie and is he decorating all of his appendages? Has she choked on something in the hallway and you just didn't hear it?

Needless to say, this has happened to me on several occasions. I'll be sitting in the living room reading, on the Internet, or maybe I'm in the kitchen doing dishes or in the bedroom folding laundry when suddenly I notice a distinct lack of noise. I race into my son's bedroom and find a myriad of situations. One time, he was playing quietly by himself with his play-doh. Another time he was hiding out in a pop-up tent and covering his legs with all sorts of markers. The worst instance, he was in the kitchen and had sprayed himself in the face with oven cleaner.

Everything was fine. Didn't even get a scar! :)

There are times, though, when silence is just as sweet as it can be. My husband and I have passed our Nintendo 64 down to our son and Addison's got a pretty sweet set-up on top of his dresser. He absolutely loves to play "Crusin' the World"; he calls it "Race Cars." A lot of times, he'll ask me to turn the game on for him, and he'll sit on his Corvette bed (he's so cool) and play. I will, usually, go about my business while he plays (unless he begs me to sit on the bed with him and watch him race - he's so cute that it's hard to say no - and who would rather wash dishes than watch a child play and laugh? Weirdo's, that's who.) Not that long ago, this very scenario happened. After several minutes had gone by without him yelling out, "check point!", I freaked the freak out and raced into his room to check on him, my paranoid parental mind taking me to dark places no parent ever wants to visit.

Do you know what I found?

This absolutely cuteness.

Life is so rough on toddlers, isn't it?

-Mommy Michelle

Hateful People Shouldn't Have Children

The only thing more annoying than a fussy toddler who has had to sit in one spot and wait for twenty minutes before he/she has had a nap and who is unable to play with his/her favorite toy at that exact moment is a rich, spoiled, west Knoxville mom who has an all-too-important hair appointment she simply can't miss, even if it's for something as enriching for her child as story time with a bunch of other kids at the local library. A story time that lasts for a little less than half an hour.

I can understand having engagements to keep. I wouldn't want to be late to an appointment, either, but don't take your frustrations out on your child, the story teller or the parents around you. None of those people have done anything to cause or exacerbate your situation!

You may have already figured this out, but this is what happened last Tuesday at the library.

This woman comes in and sits next to me and I can already tell she's agitated. Her perfectly manicured nails are tapping on one perfectly tanned arm while her crossed leg is bouncing up and down causing her high-fashion sandal to flop back and forth over her perfectly painted toes. Most parents who arrive early (myself included) will do one of a few things: 1) let the kid go pick out a book and read to them, 2) let their kid go sit in the middle of story area and play with other kids, or 3) give your kid your phone and let them play angry birds. (Probably not the best or most educational choice but holy crap does it work!)

Do you know what isn't so helpful? Making irritated sighing noises, looking at your watch with exaggerated movements every few seconds and complaining in ridiculous stage whispers about how late the story teller is or all of the incredibly important things you need to do. If it comes to that, then go. The rest of us who are there to actually enjoy ourselves and share a super fun and healthy interaction with our children and other people in our community certainly don't want your negativity all up in our space.

Was I irritated that the story teller was twenty minutes late? A little, but I know how important it is to have these fun group activities with toddlers and I would gladly sit and entertain my son for a half hour in order to have the joy of watching him enraptured in a story, answering questions when he's asked and dancing around in a shower of bubbles while he stares with glee at his new sticker.

There is just no reason to be in a crappy mood when you can do something to change your circumstances; and there is certainly no reason to inflict your crappy mood on other people. How ridiculous is that! Misery may love company, but my company certainly doesn't love your misery.

What's even better is that when I, rather nicely I thought, told the woman that if she was so upset and busy she could always leave, she looked at me as if I had grown horns out of my head. Seriously? Is that such an outlandish notion that you have to glare at me like I'm the one who is complaining and whining? Please.

It's such a shame that her child has to be in her company for the majority of his life at present. He was a cute little boy who was only too happy to sit in the floor and play with the other kids there.

That's my boy in the red shirt with the adorable blond curls. He's so cute and attentive.

I do want to congratulate that mom who, like me, suggested that if the story teller didn't show up within the next few minutes we should go and pick out some books and read them to the gathered children ourselves. I'm going to school to be a teacher. I am certainly not intimidated by a gaggle of toddlers staring at me expectantly and, you can ask Addison, I can read stories in funny voices better than most.

That is definitely an awesome mom super power.

-Mommy Michelle

Boobies!

Happy National Breastfeeding Week!

I absolutely love this week! The whole purpose is to celebrate all of those mommas who breastfeed (or support it!) and to raise awareness on just how extremely beneficial breastfeeding is for both the baby AND the momma! Seriously, there are so, so, SO many good things that come from breastfeeding and that knowledge is growing and spreading every single day. Just take a read for yourself: (I looked at a lot of sites and they all agree on all of these points. I've always loved babycenter.com so I chose theirs to share.) How Breastfeeding Benefits You and Your Baby.

When I was pregnant, I heard all about how "breast is best." But if that was true, then why were my obstetricians and doctors giving me packets of information and handfuls of coupons on formula? Sure, there was a lactation consultant that came in and helped me get Addison to latch when we tried to breastfeed for the first time (which can be unbelievably hard!) and there was always someone on call that could come in and help me if I needed it, but it felt like all of these professionals were telling me formula is just as good as breastfeeding. It's not. Did you know that some doctors get paid based on how much formula they can pawn off on mommas? That sounds awful...because it is. Luckily there is a lot being done about this ridiculousness. For starters, the mayor of New York City is laying down some pretty awesome rules for the hospitals. That's just a beginning, but it's a great beginning and I think these types of decisions will spread and impact hospitals all over the place. As pointed out in that article, it's not an issue of taking away choice. Women are still free to formula-feed their baby from day one if they want. It's about education.

Now, there have been extremely awesome strides in making formula as close to breast milk as possible. In fact, there are plenty of good things about formula! I'm not knocking formula-feeders in any way. In fact, I formula-fed Addison for most of his bottle days. That doesn't change the fact that a lot of women out there simply don't know the facts. They don't know the difference or just how beneficial breastfeeding actually is. We are made to feed our babies. That is the true purpose of breasts (despite what your significant others may say). It doesn't matter how big or small they are. It doesn't matter what shape they are or what color they are. Breast IS best.

Here's my personal breastfeeding story:

Addison and I in the hospital the day he was born

I started out all gung-ho about strictly breastfeeding and for about two and a half or three weeks, I did. I just hadn't expected it to be so freakin' hard. I remember, specifically, one night after only being home from the hospital for about a week...I was rocking Addison in the living room around three in the morning, bone tired, desperately trying to get a fussy and hungry newborn to latch...and he just wouldn't. It was breaking my heart that I was sitting here, breasts full of milk just for my son, and I couldn't get him to eat! I felt like a failure as a mother. I sobbed. I sat there holding him, rocking him and apologizing for what felt like hours. No mother wants to feel that way. Ever.

When we continued to have difficulties latching, and I was told I had to supplement formula into my son's diet so he would gain his weight back (which, incidentally, wasn't necessarily true). Once he figured out how much easier it was to drink from a bottle, that was it. He didn't want to latch ever again. I ended up getting a breast pump so he could still have breast milk even if it wasn't straight from me. You want to talk about an extremely awkward and unnatural feeling. I tried, though, and continued to pump for another week and a half or so...until my milk just dried up. I didn't know that there were ways to bring the supply back (ways that aren't even that difficult)! I didn't know that there were plenty of options I had to be able to keep breastfeeding my son. I did not have the support or knowledge I needed to continue to do it. THAT is what this week is all about!

Do I feel guilty for formula-feeding my son for a year of his life? Not at all. He got the nutrients and all the other stuff he needed to grow and be healthy. He is perfect, smart, adorable and all the things I ever wanted him to be. Do I wish I had been able to breastfeed him for longer? Absolutely.

My best friend is still breastfeeding her two-year-old and I think that is so awesome. She is doing the best thing for her little boy, despite all the looks and comments she gets and all the negativity people have towards mommas who breastfeed for longer than a year. Which is ridiculous and a whole different issue...

No, this week is all about being happy and positive and supporting this awesome super power that moms have. If you know a momma who is breastfeeding (or has), go give her a hug and let her know she's awesome. If you know a momma who wanted to or tried to and it didn't work out (whether from physical, mental or environmental circumstances), give her a hug, too, because she deserves it just as much. (Like me!)

You want to show your support publicly? There are lots of ways to do it! You can start by going to Magic-Milk on FB and 'liking' their page because local moms supporting this cause rock. :)

 Here's to all the boobies! :)

-Mommy Michelle

When You've Got A Tree To Lean On...

When it rains, it pours.

That little nugget of wisdom is no secret. (Warning: over-share imminent.) If you follow this blog semi-regularly, you already know I had a wisdom tooth extracted last Thursday through a series of unfortunate events. (Those books are absolutely awesome, by the way. Check them out if you haven't read them. They are a series of children's novellas written by the pen-name Lemony Snicket. Hilarious! Anyway...)

Apparently, having a ridiculously painful mouth wound wasn't enough. No, I had to start my shark week the day following. I've been on antibiotics for a couple weeks and, if you're a woman, you know what that can lead to... Needless to say, I have had a VERY rough week. My tooth is still sore. The pain, in fact, has spread up and down my jaw, the stitches have yet to fully dissolve, my gums are swollen beyond recognition and my cheek has a rather large, yellowish-green bruise that makes it look like I got punched in the face.

Knowing all of that, you wouldn't think my weekend could be awesome at all, would you? Joke's on you, friends. I had such an amazing weekend.

One thing made that weekend possibly: my Husband, the Hubs, my Sequoia. (He is very tall and tree-like.)

Being married is never easy. I don't care who you are. You suddenly have to learn how to live with an entirely other person in your life, every day. You share just about everything. You see them every day. Most of the time, it's great, but there are days where you just want to throttle them. I didn't think about physically harming my husband once this weekend!

He was absolutely sweet. He wanted to cuddle and hold me, he wanted to lightly scratch my back and neck (I'm a cat, I swear), he was in a great mood the entire time and he nearly made me forget my complete discomfort. Even better, he took our son with him almost everywhere he went so I could have some time to myself to just...relax. He got me ice cream, he brought me awesome Japanese food...he did everything I asked and even things I didn't even think of. It was a perfect weekend, maritally speaking.

I don't think he quite understands just how much that means to me.

We've had our disagreements. We argue (though we're working on that). But none of that stuff matters, I don't even think of the things he does that may annoy me, when I see him playing with our son. When I watch them have tickle fights and chase each other around the house. When I can lay in bed and listen to him read stories to Addison and send the cutest boy into a fit of giggles. That was what truly made my weekend so incredibly amazing.

Bedtime stories. :)

Sure, I get to watch them play a lot, but I've always got things on my mind when Addison is distracted and I'm not doing things for him. I'm thinking about the laundry that needs to be folded, the dishes that are accumulating in the sink, that soap scum I've started to notice around the faucet in the bathtub or the amount of dog hair in the carpet and if I really need to vacuum again after just a day. This weekend? I didn't think about any of that stuff. I was recuperating. I just got to to sit, watch, listen and smile. As an added bonus, we got to tie-dye some shirts this Sunday. It was my and Addison's first time and it was so much fun!

Addison is plotting his assault with the red dye while Daddy shows him what to do.

It's so rare to get to go out and do things together. Between work, house duties and family events, we are usually too tired (or broke) to get to do...well...anything. I don't mind staying home - far from it. An evening spent hanging out, reading, watching movies and spending time together in the living room is one of my favorite things to do. It's just been so hot lately that we haven't even been able to go to the playground.

This is the two of them a couple months ago at our local park. Adorable, aren't they?

 I have enough trouble being bound inside for the majority of my time, but to a two-year-old that is downright miserable. And having a miserable toddler leads to a miserable Mommy which usually leads to a miserable Daddy. Needless to say, we all needed a break. From everything. Getting to go out and about with Daddy was a welcome break from the apartment for Addison while getting some much needed Daddy/Son time without Mommy. Having the apartment to myself (while not actually getting out) was like a vacation in itself. You other SAHM's know what I'm talking about. There were a few messes that needed to be cleaned, the laundry basket was getting full, but I just sat my cute little butt in my chair with an ice pack and played Skyrim. (This is a nerdy mommy blog, you know.)

My point is: Addison loves his Daddy. It is so clear by all the fun they have and how much he laughs when Daddy is home. It's a beautiful thing. The look on Josh's face when he plays with Addison is just as inspiring. I love the saying, "Anyone can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy." I think that's absolutely true. Nowadays, so many "men" get girls pregnant and then leave them with nothing but child support payments. It's great that they are at least financially responsible for their children, but those children need a Daddy. Even if they can't (or won't) be around all the time, there is still a need for a role-model, for that positive male influence and all the things that Daddies can teach.

Even simple things like pointing out minnows in the lake.

I am thrilled that Addison has such a great Daddy. I love watching their bond grow more and more each day. I love that I get that same man as an amazing Husband who takes care of me and loves me, too. I love that our family is small but fits together perfectly.

At first, I thought it was odd that such happy thoughts could strike me while in the middle of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. Then I realized, there is no better time to recognize the beauty in my life. I'm going to steal a quote from the great Albus Dumbledore:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

One of the first pictures of Josh and Addison right after he was born. This picture never fails to make me smile and feel truly grateful for all that I have.

In conclusion, my wonderful audience, I have the best Husband, my son has the best Daddy, and - like a tree - my Sequoia is strong and supports us...even in the darkest of times. 

-Mommy Michelle

One Less Tooth, A Little More Wise

Yesterday was a huge ordeal.

About two weeks ago, I managed to chip my upper left wisdom tooth (apparently tooth #16) by eating a piece of baked chicken. I don't know. My dentist was closed for the entire week of the fourth and so I had to wait and wait. Went in, finally, got it checked out and he told me I would have to get it pulled. Not my favorite thing to do, but I had already had one pulled so I didn't think much of it.

Unfortunately, I did not realize that the first wisdom tooth had been cut out by an oral surgeon, not pulled by a general DDS. He tried. He tried very hard. He pulled on my tooth so much I thought he was going to rip half my face off in the process. Suddenly, crack! My wisdom tooth decided it was too cool to just be pulled. The top half broke right off leaving the roots and what not still intact. My teeth are apparently as stubborn as I am.

No problem, they said, we'll just send you to the oral surgeon down the road and he'll finish it up. Problem: I couldn't get in to see him for two hours. My mother, who was thankfully still off for recovery from her own surgery (ACL - nasty stuff), was acting as chauffeur and toddler-watcher for this whole ordeal, took us to Sonic for lunch and ice cream (Oreo blasts = delicious) and then we stopped by the Fountain City Duck Pond to feed the ducks and one random, obnoxiously loud goose.

This is the duck pond. Yes, it is in the shape of a heart.

This was the first time my little boy had actually gone down there and fed the ducks. He was so enthusiastic that he ended up throwing most of the little pellet food at the ducks instead of to them, but they didn't really seem to mind.

After picking up my pain meds, we headed to the surgeon and, bless them, they worked me in ASAP (an especially good thing since my anesthesia from the first attempt had worn off and I was very aware of my open mouth wound). Another shot, more tugging, and a few grunts from me and out it went! Thank. God. It just gets to a point where no matter how nervous you are about it happening, you just want the damned thing out of your mouth.

Now, my mother is the sweetest mother ever. Even though she is still using a crutch and has a leg brace, she watched my son for me so I could rest.

This is her holding Addison at his 2nd birthday party earlier this year. You can't really see her, but it's obvious he loves his Nana.

My not-tooth refused to clot for the longest time and so I just continued to bleed and drool. Whenever it would stop, I would quickly eat something so I could take my medicine before it started back again. When I would do the saltwater rinse the doc told me to do, the bleeding would start up all over again. I went to bed and slept maybe four hours due to the fact that I was drooling on myself so bad it woke me up. Isn't that gross? It is.

Today, though, I feel much better. The left half of my face resembles a chipmunk more than a Mommy, but it's not oozing blood anymore so I consider that a fair trade. My mother brought Addison back this morning on her way to her therapy for her leg and what, do you imagine, is the first thing he does?

Yep. Haven't even had him back for half an hour and he grants me such a marvelous gift. It just planted the notion even more firmly in my mind that stay-at-home mom's really don't get sick leave (unless you have an awesome mom like I do who helps you out as much as she can). I am in pain and extremely tired, but I can't just lay around on the couch all day like I want to. I still have to get up when Addison needs or wants something that he can't do himself. I still have to take care of him and play with him and watch him. It's rough.

I am better off than most, I think, because Addison is such a great kid. He's content to play with his cars or puzzles by himself for longer than I think the average two-year-old is and he is generally well-behaved.

I don't know what this post is about now. Ha! I was going to complain about my wisdom teeth, but when I stopped and really thought about it, there's not much to complain about. I have insurance and the ability to have my teeth fixed when I need to, wonderful family members who help me out as much as they can, a great child who doesn't nag me constantly for things when I feel like crap, a sympathetic child who understands that Mommy doesn't feel good and he needs to not yell and throw a tantrum, and a wonderful husband who goes to work five days a week so I can stay home with our boy every day.

It's kind of hard to feel really down about having a swollen cheek and an uncomfortable mouth when I've got so many awesome things in my life.

I hope you all have awesome things in your life, too, because...well...awesome things are awesome. (I'm going to go before I get really profound...)

-Mommy Michelle

Surely, You Can't Be Serious?

I've been a mom for two and a half years. To some, that's not very long. I am all too aware that there is much of being a parent I have yet to experience. There are many things I have not gone through, trials I have not yet had to endure. That, however, does not mean that I don't know what I'm doing or that I am a worse parent than those who have been parents of more children or for a longer period of time.

That having been said, I have recently discovered a huge pet peeve of mine.

Today, at the end of our weekly story-time at the library, the librarian was handing out stickers. Trying to get a bunch of toddlers to act orderly is very near impossible. I can understand and appreciate this. (I recently spent forty-five hours in a preschool classroom so I know first-hand how difficult it can be to get any sized group of children to do anything you want them to do.) The librarian was very calm and patient and told the children over and over that every single one was going to get a sticker so there was no need to crowd him. A lot of the children listened, mine being one of them. Addison just stepped back and was content to wait until there was an opening in the crowd of children so he could get his sticker. (He picked out a pink sticker with a rainbow on it. My kid is officially awesome.)

Other children were not so friendly.

One girl, who looked to be the oldest there, did not want to stand behind the other children and wait, especially once her little sister had already gotten hers. After huffing and puffing for a minute, she proceeded to shove my son out of her way. He stumbled and fell into another child. She didn't just do this once. She pushed and shoved her way to the front of the group to get her sticker. Do you know what her mother did? Absolutely nothing.

This isn't the first time I've been witness to a grossly inattentive, or even worse, a willfully ignorant parent. I understand that you can't watch your children every second. I understand that sometimes they do things you aren't aware of. I also understand that some parents view their children through rose-colored glasses and think they can do no wrong even if they are the most spoiled and bratty children on the planet. These are the people you want to shake until they see the error of their ways. That is, regrettably, labeled assault and will land you in jail. The law doesn't really justify violence, even if it is for the person's own good. Maybe one day.

Totally off topic. Anyway...

There was a day I took Addison to the park near our apartment. It is in a beautiful and quiet neighborhood and it is never packed full or over-run with loud, noisy children. It's perfect. However, on this day, there was a girl who followed Addison around and told him, "You can't play with that. It's mine!" every time he touched something. Do you know what her mother did? Absolutely nothing. I actually approached the mother when this behavior continued for several minutes without her interfering at all. She was sitting on a bench, her nose in her cell phone, without a care in the world as to what her daughter may or may not be doing. So I said, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but your daughter is telling my son he can't play with anything on the playground because everything is hers. I've tried to tell her that the playground is for everyone to share but she continues to be a little bit rude to my son." Without even looking up at me the mother said, "I'm sorry."

Really? Is that all you can say? You can't discipline your child or try to teach her anything at all, even at the expense of someone else's child? You must be parent of the year!

Sometimes kids suck. They don't do what you tell them to do and when you don't let them continue their upsetting behavior, they throw huge fits and get really mad. You know what? It happens. It's an unfortunate part of being a parent, but it is a HUGE part. We are here to teach children how to behave, how to survive in this world. Fundamental things such as sharing, communicating, listening, expressing themselves are all things we need to help them figure out. It can be hard. It can be really, really hard. It is not impossible.

So, it really just gets under my skin when I see a child who is behaving in a not-so-nice manner (especially to my kid) and then see their parent doing absolutely nothing about it. The repercussions of not-parenting reach so far into the future of that child that it's almost unbelievable.

And I know it is so hard to find that perfect balance between teaching your children what you want them to know and letting them figure things out on their own. They need both, but they need both in moderation; every single circumstance requires a different reaction from the parent.

Some people just aren't cut out to do it. Unfortunately, they don't know that until they've already reproduced. By then, it's too late.

-Mommy Michelle

P.S. - I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

Things You Don't Think About Until You Have A Kid

It might seem a bit obvious to say that life is a lot easier without having children. When you are dreaming about a family, though, you often times don't consider just how different your life is going to have to be once you have a baby. It's more than just not being able to go out and party/drink/orgy/whatever and having less money for the things you want. It's the other, more menial, tasks that dramatically increase in difficulty and have you saying, "Whoa. What have I done?"

Disclaimer here: I am not now, nor have I ever, regretted having my son. Ever. Yes, it is TOTALLY frustrating sometimes to not be able to take a poo by myself, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. Seriously.

Here is a tiny list I've compiled of things that are ridiculously more complicated to do when you have a child.

1. The ever-dreaded trip to the grocery store. Pre-children you can walk around the aisles and take your time deciding what you really need and want. With a child you have to keep them entertained, worry about them chewing on the buggy or putting their hands in their mouths after touching it (Did you know that grocery store carts are even nastier than grocery store bathrooms? Read this article - it's nasty.), knocking things off of the shelves, putting random items in the basket, running off (Mine actually went from the produce to the road outside the store. No one grabbed him even though I was yelling to stop him from going out of the doors. People suck.), or heaven-forbid the dreaded grocery store tantrum.

If you're super lucky, you have a kid like mine who generally behaves himself. So long as I am making funny faces and he has cars to play with, he's pretty good. I have seen some horrendous tantrums, though, and it's in those moments that you can immediately tell who has kids and who doesn't. The people who do give you this knowing look of sympathy and just walk on by. The ones who don't glare at you as if it's your fault the child is screaming with rage.

2. Going to a pool. Granted, a lot of the time taking children to a pool is a whole lot of fun, especially when they're little and haven't had much experience in it. Before I had my kid, though, I would lay out on a chair with a really good book, read until I was unbearably hot, and then jump in and splash around for a while. Repeat. With my son, that's laughable. I have to make sure his sunscreen hasn't washed or rubbed off, that he's hydrated, not drowning, etc. Like I said, that doesn't mean it isn't fun, because it is! There is just zero time for adult relaxation.

3. Cleaning a house. When you have a kid (at least one that isn't an infant), any toy you put away is instantly the coolest toy in the house and has to be played with RIGHT NOW. When you give up on that one and go to another toy, THAT toy is the most fun thing ever. It's a vicious cycle that is only broken by nap or bed time (unless by that point you have given up and gotten out the wine). Vacuuming? Impossible unless you plan on pushing an extra twenty-five pounds around, too. Sweeping is made much more difficult when a screaming toddler is pulling on it because he wants his turn to push dirt ALL over the floor. Doing the dishes just makes more mess since you have to wipe up bubbles and water off yourself, your child, the counter, the cabinets, the floor, the chair and just about every other inch of the kitchen. Not to mention, if you want to use any harsher chemicals (think bleach) to clean anything at all, it's a HUGE ordeal. You have to keep the kid away from the area until it's completely dried or rinsed or what have you and that is not always so easy. Laundry isn't bad until you try to fold it and your child is jumping all over the bed, rolling all over the clothes, or stealing your bra and running away squealing.

4. Errands. There is no leisurely drive from the bank to the store to the library to the mall. You have to plan your route to do it in the quickest time, avoiding nap time and meal time completely. You have to make sure you have enough for the kid to drink (waaaaay easier if you breast-feed!), snacks, toys, books, etc. to keep him/her occupied for the next couple hours. Then...the getting out and back in to the car ordeal. If your child is anything like mine, he gets tired of it after a while. A lot of the time he just refuses to get out of the car at all. Your kid ever do that stiff-as-a-board-you-can't-physically-manipulate-me-at-all thing? Yeah. That.

There are so many, many more, but I think you all get the idea.

That being said, there are millions of things that are so much better with kids. Playgrounds, splash pads, story time at the local library, going out to eat and having them make funny faces at the other patrons and going to amusement parks.

Life is insanity - with or without kids. It all just depends on if you want to share that insanity with a mini-me who depends on you for everything. It's frustrating, mind-numbing, hair-pulling and down right sucky at times, but, at the end of the day when you can sit down and look over at that sweetly sleeping child next to you, none of the rest of it matters.

In closing, here are some hilariously accurate pictures for you to enjoy.

-Mommy Michelle

My Son is Weird.

I'm just sayin'. I'm pretty sure he takes after his father. I mean, look at them:

Yes. They colored their nipples with markers.

Today, Addison took the cake. He was running around our apartment nekkid (this is how we potty train because he doesn't ever pee in the floor) and eating an Eggo waffle for breakfast. He was holding it in his hand (because I don't usually put syrup on his) and all of a sudden I look up from my computer and he is standing in the middle of the living room with the waffle...between his butt cheeks.

Now, I don't know about you, but I usually EAT my waffles, not put them in my butt. My husband looks around after hearing my hysterical laughter and says, "Addison! Do not put food in your butt!" I just shook my head and replied, "Things you never thought you'd have to say to your kid."

This is not the only weird thing my son has ever done, probably not even the weirdest, but it is definitely up on the list. I mean, who puts waffles between their butt cheeks?!

Apparently this weirdo does.

Ah, well. I'll just chalk this up to one of those embarrassing stories I can tell to his future dates. Though, if he's anything like his father, he will take pride in his weirdness and tell the story himself one day.

I am so proud.

(Also, on a totally unrelated note [except for the fact that it's referring to butts] Addison pooped in the potty for the first time ever today! I'm not sure if this has anything to do with the waffle. Wouldn't that be weird? The secret to potty training discovered by a stay-at-home mom in Tennessee: Eggo waffles between the butt cheeks!)

-Mommy Michelle

What's better than being on the lake?

Being a two year old on the lake, of course!

Sunday we had an early Fourth of July celebration with half of my family (parents divorced, remarried, yada yada). It was a blast! We always go to Lake Norris because it is the most beautiful (and clean!) lake in Eastern TN.

Look at how blue that water is!

I'm lucky enough to have a step-dad who is awesome and owns a pontoon boat so we can just dock in a random cove, get out the snacks and floats, and float around to our hearts' content. It is beautiful, relaxing and especially welcome during these 105° days we've been having. Addison is also at that awesome age where he is getting acquainted with floating and swimming. He is the cutest ever in his little float.

Oh, he also makes ridiculous faces. All the time.

I don't know about your family, but my family is pretty ridiculous. We were joined this time by my older brother and his wife and with all of us there at once...it got pretty silly. We also found a cove this time with a rope swing in the perfect spot on a perfect hill that swings you perfectly into the water. Aside from some fish nibbles, it was an incredibly awesome day. The best Sunday I've ever had.

Floating is serious work.

You know what probably the best part was (besides being pulled around on a giant torpedo float behind the boat)? Reading. I love, love, LOVE to read. Usually, I spend my days at home with my boy catering to his needs and playing with him or teaching him things. During his naps, I try to clean up the toys from that morning and get some much-needed chores done. I don't always have time to sit and read chapter after chapter like I want to. On a boat full of relatives to play with, however, I can catch a break to sit in the sun and dive nose-first into a book.

Definitely one of the high points of my day.

It's even better when it's an awesome book. I was right in the middle of "Fifty Shades of Grey" by E. L. James. If you haven't heard anything about it and you like steamy sex scenes, BDSM, and complicated characters with a strange relationship, go check it out. I haven't read the second or third books of the trilogy yet, but they're on my list. (Incidentally, if any of you readers have any suggestions for awesome books I should read - let me know! I read all kinds.)

Sometimes, playing on a boat and being in the sun for several hours can make you exhausted. It's always good to have a nice, cold drink and to take a nap. I am a huge fan of naps. Especially when my boy and the Hubs take them.

Aren't they just too cute?

I know, I know. Sleeping in a life jacket looks completely uncomfortable but, obviously, Addison didn't care much and it's kind of the law that children have to wear life jackets at all times on the water. That is one law I certainly don't mind following. Being a Mommy comes with new fears and my child falling into the water and sinking before I can grab him is one of them!

Knoxvillians and Tennesseeans - get to Norris lake and enjoy the clean water! Everyone else, stay cool and wet this summer. (Ha. Get your minds out of the gutter. Or go read "Fifty Shades of Grey" and pervert yourselves even more!)

-Mommy Michelle

It IS a job and it is NOT easy.

A lot of my friends post these "blunt cards" on Facebook. They post them pretty often. Naturally, if I see one that it is hilarious or an absolute truth, I pass it along. Yesterday, this little gem was posted on my news feed.

I don't know who made it so I can't give credit. Sorry!

Now, I'm not going to just go around punching people in their faces with hammers. I'm not quite that violent. However! This is one of the best e-cards I've ever seen because it is absolutely spot on. If I had a dollar for every time I heard something like: "Oh, you stay home? I wish I could sit on the couch all day." "It must be nice to not have to work." "If you're home all the time, why isn't your house spotlessly clean?" "Well, you've only got one kid so you must have it pretty easy." "It isn't a real job because you don't make any money." Let's just say I would be filthy stinking rich.

And that makes me sad. While it is true that, unless she works from home, a stay-at-home mom doesn't make money, there are so many benefits that outweigh that lack of monetary income. To wake up every morning and be able to make my son breakfast, to be able to read to him and teach him throughout the day, to be able to know what he's doing at any given moment instead of wondering if he's crying in the daycare or if the teachers understand what he wants and needs, to be able to raise my own child through his infancy and toddlerhood mean more to me than having a little extra money.

I cannot adequately describe to you how frustrated I feel when I am told that I get to sit on the couch all day or that I'm so lucky that I don't have to work because being a stay-at-home mom must be so easy. This morning alone I had to calm down my boy because he wanted to walk up the apartment stairs on his own and when I was three steps behind him he freaked out and ran back down to start over twice, I got screamed at for walking out of the kitchen so I could sit down and eat my breakfast, I had to explain that turning the TV off means that Spongebob goes away and it was no fault of mine since Addison had turned it off himself - all of this before nine AM. That's not even including making sure he eats healthily, gets enough educational play, is clean, has a dry diaper on, and also keeping all the clothes laundered and put away, keeping the dishes washed, sweeping the dog hair out of the kitchen, vacuuming every other day to get the dog hair out of the carpet AND the general picking up and putting away of everything else in the house. (That's not including cleaning the bathroom because I absolutely hate cleaning the bathroom and do it as little as possible. Shhhh.)

Believe me, if being a stay-at-home mom was as easy as sitting at a computer in a cubicle all day, we all wouldn't be quite as offended when people accuse us of being lazy or incompetent. Until you know how hard it is to care for even one child all day and then be expected to keep up a house and have dinner on the table and tend to your spouse's needs, you have no idea how difficult it can be.

And, sure, there are some days where nothing gets done but playing with my boy and some days where I sit and read my own books at any given opportunity, but even adults that work 9-5 get at least one day off a week. Are stay-at-home moms not allowed that same break?

It seems like so much is expected of us that if we even slack off for one day, we are seen as lazy housekeepers, bad mothers, or worse. That is just not fair. We work our cute mommy butts off to take care of our kids, our house, our pets and our spouses.

Just don't forget: we have to take care of ourselves, too.

So, if you know a stay-at-home mom, before you accuse her of having a dirty house and before you tell her her job is so easy, try and step into her shoes for a minute and think about all that responsibility she carries.

And if you still say those things? You probably deserve to get hit with a hammer. Just sayin'.

-Mommy Michelle