When You've Got A Tree To Lean On...

When it rains, it pours.

That little nugget of wisdom is no secret. (Warning: over-share imminent.) If you follow this blog semi-regularly, you already know I had a wisdom tooth extracted last Thursday through a series of unfortunate events. (Those books are absolutely awesome, by the way. Check them out if you haven't read them. They are a series of children's novellas written by the pen-name Lemony Snicket. Hilarious! Anyway...)

Apparently, having a ridiculously painful mouth wound wasn't enough. No, I had to start my shark week the day following. I've been on antibiotics for a couple weeks and, if you're a woman, you know what that can lead to... Needless to say, I have had a VERY rough week. My tooth is still sore. The pain, in fact, has spread up and down my jaw, the stitches have yet to fully dissolve, my gums are swollen beyond recognition and my cheek has a rather large, yellowish-green bruise that makes it look like I got punched in the face.

Knowing all of that, you wouldn't think my weekend could be awesome at all, would you? Joke's on you, friends. I had such an amazing weekend.

One thing made that weekend possibly: my Husband, the Hubs, my Sequoia. (He is very tall and tree-like.)

Being married is never easy. I don't care who you are. You suddenly have to learn how to live with an entirely other person in your life, every day. You share just about everything. You see them every day. Most of the time, it's great, but there are days where you just want to throttle them. I didn't think about physically harming my husband once this weekend!

He was absolutely sweet. He wanted to cuddle and hold me, he wanted to lightly scratch my back and neck (I'm a cat, I swear), he was in a great mood the entire time and he nearly made me forget my complete discomfort. Even better, he took our son with him almost everywhere he went so I could have some time to myself to just...relax. He got me ice cream, he brought me awesome Japanese food...he did everything I asked and even things I didn't even think of. It was a perfect weekend, maritally speaking.

I don't think he quite understands just how much that means to me.

We've had our disagreements. We argue (though we're working on that). But none of that stuff matters, I don't even think of the things he does that may annoy me, when I see him playing with our son. When I watch them have tickle fights and chase each other around the house. When I can lay in bed and listen to him read stories to Addison and send the cutest boy into a fit of giggles. That was what truly made my weekend so incredibly amazing.

Bedtime stories. :)

Sure, I get to watch them play a lot, but I've always got things on my mind when Addison is distracted and I'm not doing things for him. I'm thinking about the laundry that needs to be folded, the dishes that are accumulating in the sink, that soap scum I've started to notice around the faucet in the bathtub or the amount of dog hair in the carpet and if I really need to vacuum again after just a day. This weekend? I didn't think about any of that stuff. I was recuperating. I just got to to sit, watch, listen and smile. As an added bonus, we got to tie-dye some shirts this Sunday. It was my and Addison's first time and it was so much fun!

Addison is plotting his assault with the red dye while Daddy shows him what to do.

It's so rare to get to go out and do things together. Between work, house duties and family events, we are usually too tired (or broke) to get to do...well...anything. I don't mind staying home - far from it. An evening spent hanging out, reading, watching movies and spending time together in the living room is one of my favorite things to do. It's just been so hot lately that we haven't even been able to go to the playground.

This is the two of them a couple months ago at our local park. Adorable, aren't they?

 I have enough trouble being bound inside for the majority of my time, but to a two-year-old that is downright miserable. And having a miserable toddler leads to a miserable Mommy which usually leads to a miserable Daddy. Needless to say, we all needed a break. From everything. Getting to go out and about with Daddy was a welcome break from the apartment for Addison while getting some much needed Daddy/Son time without Mommy. Having the apartment to myself (while not actually getting out) was like a vacation in itself. You other SAHM's know what I'm talking about. There were a few messes that needed to be cleaned, the laundry basket was getting full, but I just sat my cute little butt in my chair with an ice pack and played Skyrim. (This is a nerdy mommy blog, you know.)

My point is: Addison loves his Daddy. It is so clear by all the fun they have and how much he laughs when Daddy is home. It's a beautiful thing. The look on Josh's face when he plays with Addison is just as inspiring. I love the saying, "Anyone can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy." I think that's absolutely true. Nowadays, so many "men" get girls pregnant and then leave them with nothing but child support payments. It's great that they are at least financially responsible for their children, but those children need a Daddy. Even if they can't (or won't) be around all the time, there is still a need for a role-model, for that positive male influence and all the things that Daddies can teach.

Even simple things like pointing out minnows in the lake.

I am thrilled that Addison has such a great Daddy. I love watching their bond grow more and more each day. I love that I get that same man as an amazing Husband who takes care of me and loves me, too. I love that our family is small but fits together perfectly.

At first, I thought it was odd that such happy thoughts could strike me while in the middle of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. Then I realized, there is no better time to recognize the beauty in my life. I'm going to steal a quote from the great Albus Dumbledore:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

One of the first pictures of Josh and Addison right after he was born. This picture never fails to make me smile and feel truly grateful for all that I have.

In conclusion, my wonderful audience, I have the best Husband, my son has the best Daddy, and - like a tree - my Sequoia is strong and supports us...even in the darkest of times. 

-Mommy Michelle

One Less Tooth, A Little More Wise

Yesterday was a huge ordeal.

About two weeks ago, I managed to chip my upper left wisdom tooth (apparently tooth #16) by eating a piece of baked chicken. I don't know. My dentist was closed for the entire week of the fourth and so I had to wait and wait. Went in, finally, got it checked out and he told me I would have to get it pulled. Not my favorite thing to do, but I had already had one pulled so I didn't think much of it.

Unfortunately, I did not realize that the first wisdom tooth had been cut out by an oral surgeon, not pulled by a general DDS. He tried. He tried very hard. He pulled on my tooth so much I thought he was going to rip half my face off in the process. Suddenly, crack! My wisdom tooth decided it was too cool to just be pulled. The top half broke right off leaving the roots and what not still intact. My teeth are apparently as stubborn as I am.

No problem, they said, we'll just send you to the oral surgeon down the road and he'll finish it up. Problem: I couldn't get in to see him for two hours. My mother, who was thankfully still off for recovery from her own surgery (ACL - nasty stuff), was acting as chauffeur and toddler-watcher for this whole ordeal, took us to Sonic for lunch and ice cream (Oreo blasts = delicious) and then we stopped by the Fountain City Duck Pond to feed the ducks and one random, obnoxiously loud goose.

This is the duck pond. Yes, it is in the shape of a heart.

This was the first time my little boy had actually gone down there and fed the ducks. He was so enthusiastic that he ended up throwing most of the little pellet food at the ducks instead of to them, but they didn't really seem to mind.

After picking up my pain meds, we headed to the surgeon and, bless them, they worked me in ASAP (an especially good thing since my anesthesia from the first attempt had worn off and I was very aware of my open mouth wound). Another shot, more tugging, and a few grunts from me and out it went! Thank. God. It just gets to a point where no matter how nervous you are about it happening, you just want the damned thing out of your mouth.

Now, my mother is the sweetest mother ever. Even though she is still using a crutch and has a leg brace, she watched my son for me so I could rest.

This is her holding Addison at his 2nd birthday party earlier this year. You can't really see her, but it's obvious he loves his Nana.

My not-tooth refused to clot for the longest time and so I just continued to bleed and drool. Whenever it would stop, I would quickly eat something so I could take my medicine before it started back again. When I would do the saltwater rinse the doc told me to do, the bleeding would start up all over again. I went to bed and slept maybe four hours due to the fact that I was drooling on myself so bad it woke me up. Isn't that gross? It is.

Today, though, I feel much better. The left half of my face resembles a chipmunk more than a Mommy, but it's not oozing blood anymore so I consider that a fair trade. My mother brought Addison back this morning on her way to her therapy for her leg and what, do you imagine, is the first thing he does?

Yep. Haven't even had him back for half an hour and he grants me such a marvelous gift. It just planted the notion even more firmly in my mind that stay-at-home mom's really don't get sick leave (unless you have an awesome mom like I do who helps you out as much as she can). I am in pain and extremely tired, but I can't just lay around on the couch all day like I want to. I still have to get up when Addison needs or wants something that he can't do himself. I still have to take care of him and play with him and watch him. It's rough.

I am better off than most, I think, because Addison is such a great kid. He's content to play with his cars or puzzles by himself for longer than I think the average two-year-old is and he is generally well-behaved.

I don't know what this post is about now. Ha! I was going to complain about my wisdom teeth, but when I stopped and really thought about it, there's not much to complain about. I have insurance and the ability to have my teeth fixed when I need to, wonderful family members who help me out as much as they can, a great child who doesn't nag me constantly for things when I feel like crap, a sympathetic child who understands that Mommy doesn't feel good and he needs to not yell and throw a tantrum, and a wonderful husband who goes to work five days a week so I can stay home with our boy every day.

It's kind of hard to feel really down about having a swollen cheek and an uncomfortable mouth when I've got so many awesome things in my life.

I hope you all have awesome things in your life, too, because...well...awesome things are awesome. (I'm going to go before I get really profound...)

-Mommy Michelle

Surely, You Can't Be Serious?

I've been a mom for two and a half years. To some, that's not very long. I am all too aware that there is much of being a parent I have yet to experience. There are many things I have not gone through, trials I have not yet had to endure. That, however, does not mean that I don't know what I'm doing or that I am a worse parent than those who have been parents of more children or for a longer period of time.

That having been said, I have recently discovered a huge pet peeve of mine.

Today, at the end of our weekly story-time at the library, the librarian was handing out stickers. Trying to get a bunch of toddlers to act orderly is very near impossible. I can understand and appreciate this. (I recently spent forty-five hours in a preschool classroom so I know first-hand how difficult it can be to get any sized group of children to do anything you want them to do.) The librarian was very calm and patient and told the children over and over that every single one was going to get a sticker so there was no need to crowd him. A lot of the children listened, mine being one of them. Addison just stepped back and was content to wait until there was an opening in the crowd of children so he could get his sticker. (He picked out a pink sticker with a rainbow on it. My kid is officially awesome.)

Other children were not so friendly.

One girl, who looked to be the oldest there, did not want to stand behind the other children and wait, especially once her little sister had already gotten hers. After huffing and puffing for a minute, she proceeded to shove my son out of her way. He stumbled and fell into another child. She didn't just do this once. She pushed and shoved her way to the front of the group to get her sticker. Do you know what her mother did? Absolutely nothing.

This isn't the first time I've been witness to a grossly inattentive, or even worse, a willfully ignorant parent. I understand that you can't watch your children every second. I understand that sometimes they do things you aren't aware of. I also understand that some parents view their children through rose-colored glasses and think they can do no wrong even if they are the most spoiled and bratty children on the planet. These are the people you want to shake until they see the error of their ways. That is, regrettably, labeled assault and will land you in jail. The law doesn't really justify violence, even if it is for the person's own good. Maybe one day.

Totally off topic. Anyway...

There was a day I took Addison to the park near our apartment. It is in a beautiful and quiet neighborhood and it is never packed full or over-run with loud, noisy children. It's perfect. However, on this day, there was a girl who followed Addison around and told him, "You can't play with that. It's mine!" every time he touched something. Do you know what her mother did? Absolutely nothing. I actually approached the mother when this behavior continued for several minutes without her interfering at all. She was sitting on a bench, her nose in her cell phone, without a care in the world as to what her daughter may or may not be doing. So I said, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but your daughter is telling my son he can't play with anything on the playground because everything is hers. I've tried to tell her that the playground is for everyone to share but she continues to be a little bit rude to my son." Without even looking up at me the mother said, "I'm sorry."

Really? Is that all you can say? You can't discipline your child or try to teach her anything at all, even at the expense of someone else's child? You must be parent of the year!

Sometimes kids suck. They don't do what you tell them to do and when you don't let them continue their upsetting behavior, they throw huge fits and get really mad. You know what? It happens. It's an unfortunate part of being a parent, but it is a HUGE part. We are here to teach children how to behave, how to survive in this world. Fundamental things such as sharing, communicating, listening, expressing themselves are all things we need to help them figure out. It can be hard. It can be really, really hard. It is not impossible.

So, it really just gets under my skin when I see a child who is behaving in a not-so-nice manner (especially to my kid) and then see their parent doing absolutely nothing about it. The repercussions of not-parenting reach so far into the future of that child that it's almost unbelievable.

And I know it is so hard to find that perfect balance between teaching your children what you want them to know and letting them figure things out on their own. They need both, but they need both in moderation; every single circumstance requires a different reaction from the parent.

Some people just aren't cut out to do it. Unfortunately, they don't know that until they've already reproduced. By then, it's too late.

-Mommy Michelle

P.S. - I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

Things You Don't Think About Until You Have A Kid

It might seem a bit obvious to say that life is a lot easier without having children. When you are dreaming about a family, though, you often times don't consider just how different your life is going to have to be once you have a baby. It's more than just not being able to go out and party/drink/orgy/whatever and having less money for the things you want. It's the other, more menial, tasks that dramatically increase in difficulty and have you saying, "Whoa. What have I done?"

Disclaimer here: I am not now, nor have I ever, regretted having my son. Ever. Yes, it is TOTALLY frustrating sometimes to not be able to take a poo by myself, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. Seriously.

Here is a tiny list I've compiled of things that are ridiculously more complicated to do when you have a child.

1. The ever-dreaded trip to the grocery store. Pre-children you can walk around the aisles and take your time deciding what you really need and want. With a child you have to keep them entertained, worry about them chewing on the buggy or putting their hands in their mouths after touching it (Did you know that grocery store carts are even nastier than grocery store bathrooms? Read this article - it's nasty.), knocking things off of the shelves, putting random items in the basket, running off (Mine actually went from the produce to the road outside the store. No one grabbed him even though I was yelling to stop him from going out of the doors. People suck.), or heaven-forbid the dreaded grocery store tantrum.

If you're super lucky, you have a kid like mine who generally behaves himself. So long as I am making funny faces and he has cars to play with, he's pretty good. I have seen some horrendous tantrums, though, and it's in those moments that you can immediately tell who has kids and who doesn't. The people who do give you this knowing look of sympathy and just walk on by. The ones who don't glare at you as if it's your fault the child is screaming with rage.

2. Going to a pool. Granted, a lot of the time taking children to a pool is a whole lot of fun, especially when they're little and haven't had much experience in it. Before I had my kid, though, I would lay out on a chair with a really good book, read until I was unbearably hot, and then jump in and splash around for a while. Repeat. With my son, that's laughable. I have to make sure his sunscreen hasn't washed or rubbed off, that he's hydrated, not drowning, etc. Like I said, that doesn't mean it isn't fun, because it is! There is just zero time for adult relaxation.

3. Cleaning a house. When you have a kid (at least one that isn't an infant), any toy you put away is instantly the coolest toy in the house and has to be played with RIGHT NOW. When you give up on that one and go to another toy, THAT toy is the most fun thing ever. It's a vicious cycle that is only broken by nap or bed time (unless by that point you have given up and gotten out the wine). Vacuuming? Impossible unless you plan on pushing an extra twenty-five pounds around, too. Sweeping is made much more difficult when a screaming toddler is pulling on it because he wants his turn to push dirt ALL over the floor. Doing the dishes just makes more mess since you have to wipe up bubbles and water off yourself, your child, the counter, the cabinets, the floor, the chair and just about every other inch of the kitchen. Not to mention, if you want to use any harsher chemicals (think bleach) to clean anything at all, it's a HUGE ordeal. You have to keep the kid away from the area until it's completely dried or rinsed or what have you and that is not always so easy. Laundry isn't bad until you try to fold it and your child is jumping all over the bed, rolling all over the clothes, or stealing your bra and running away squealing.

4. Errands. There is no leisurely drive from the bank to the store to the library to the mall. You have to plan your route to do it in the quickest time, avoiding nap time and meal time completely. You have to make sure you have enough for the kid to drink (waaaaay easier if you breast-feed!), snacks, toys, books, etc. to keep him/her occupied for the next couple hours. Then...the getting out and back in to the car ordeal. If your child is anything like mine, he gets tired of it after a while. A lot of the time he just refuses to get out of the car at all. Your kid ever do that stiff-as-a-board-you-can't-physically-manipulate-me-at-all thing? Yeah. That.

There are so many, many more, but I think you all get the idea.

That being said, there are millions of things that are so much better with kids. Playgrounds, splash pads, story time at the local library, going out to eat and having them make funny faces at the other patrons and going to amusement parks.

Life is insanity - with or without kids. It all just depends on if you want to share that insanity with a mini-me who depends on you for everything. It's frustrating, mind-numbing, hair-pulling and down right sucky at times, but, at the end of the day when you can sit down and look over at that sweetly sleeping child next to you, none of the rest of it matters.

In closing, here are some hilariously accurate pictures for you to enjoy.

-Mommy Michelle

My Son is Weird.

I'm just sayin'. I'm pretty sure he takes after his father. I mean, look at them:

Yes. They colored their nipples with markers.

Today, Addison took the cake. He was running around our apartment nekkid (this is how we potty train because he doesn't ever pee in the floor) and eating an Eggo waffle for breakfast. He was holding it in his hand (because I don't usually put syrup on his) and all of a sudden I look up from my computer and he is standing in the middle of the living room with the waffle...between his butt cheeks.

Now, I don't know about you, but I usually EAT my waffles, not put them in my butt. My husband looks around after hearing my hysterical laughter and says, "Addison! Do not put food in your butt!" I just shook my head and replied, "Things you never thought you'd have to say to your kid."

This is not the only weird thing my son has ever done, probably not even the weirdest, but it is definitely up on the list. I mean, who puts waffles between their butt cheeks?!

Apparently this weirdo does.

Ah, well. I'll just chalk this up to one of those embarrassing stories I can tell to his future dates. Though, if he's anything like his father, he will take pride in his weirdness and tell the story himself one day.

I am so proud.

(Also, on a totally unrelated note [except for the fact that it's referring to butts] Addison pooped in the potty for the first time ever today! I'm not sure if this has anything to do with the waffle. Wouldn't that be weird? The secret to potty training discovered by a stay-at-home mom in Tennessee: Eggo waffles between the butt cheeks!)

-Mommy Michelle

What's better than being on the lake?

Being a two year old on the lake, of course!

Sunday we had an early Fourth of July celebration with half of my family (parents divorced, remarried, yada yada). It was a blast! We always go to Lake Norris because it is the most beautiful (and clean!) lake in Eastern TN.

Look at how blue that water is!

I'm lucky enough to have a step-dad who is awesome and owns a pontoon boat so we can just dock in a random cove, get out the snacks and floats, and float around to our hearts' content. It is beautiful, relaxing and especially welcome during these 105° days we've been having. Addison is also at that awesome age where he is getting acquainted with floating and swimming. He is the cutest ever in his little float.

Oh, he also makes ridiculous faces. All the time.

I don't know about your family, but my family is pretty ridiculous. We were joined this time by my older brother and his wife and with all of us there at once...it got pretty silly. We also found a cove this time with a rope swing in the perfect spot on a perfect hill that swings you perfectly into the water. Aside from some fish nibbles, it was an incredibly awesome day. The best Sunday I've ever had.

Floating is serious work.

You know what probably the best part was (besides being pulled around on a giant torpedo float behind the boat)? Reading. I love, love, LOVE to read. Usually, I spend my days at home with my boy catering to his needs and playing with him or teaching him things. During his naps, I try to clean up the toys from that morning and get some much-needed chores done. I don't always have time to sit and read chapter after chapter like I want to. On a boat full of relatives to play with, however, I can catch a break to sit in the sun and dive nose-first into a book.

Definitely one of the high points of my day.

It's even better when it's an awesome book. I was right in the middle of "Fifty Shades of Grey" by E. L. James. If you haven't heard anything about it and you like steamy sex scenes, BDSM, and complicated characters with a strange relationship, go check it out. I haven't read the second or third books of the trilogy yet, but they're on my list. (Incidentally, if any of you readers have any suggestions for awesome books I should read - let me know! I read all kinds.)

Sometimes, playing on a boat and being in the sun for several hours can make you exhausted. It's always good to have a nice, cold drink and to take a nap. I am a huge fan of naps. Especially when my boy and the Hubs take them.

Aren't they just too cute?

I know, I know. Sleeping in a life jacket looks completely uncomfortable but, obviously, Addison didn't care much and it's kind of the law that children have to wear life jackets at all times on the water. That is one law I certainly don't mind following. Being a Mommy comes with new fears and my child falling into the water and sinking before I can grab him is one of them!

Knoxvillians and Tennesseeans - get to Norris lake and enjoy the clean water! Everyone else, stay cool and wet this summer. (Ha. Get your minds out of the gutter. Or go read "Fifty Shades of Grey" and pervert yourselves even more!)

-Mommy Michelle